Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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