She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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