so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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