its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ladies don't puke and tell
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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