I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
