sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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