everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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