Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
