I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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