She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
