He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
