Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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