I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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