i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
