How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i out mim tonsoeep
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