Having a random hookup so left but love u
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
