I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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