i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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