i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
