Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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