I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize