College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
