we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
