Me. At least after what I've been through.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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