i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
