i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I am one with the molecules
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
