but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
