quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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