bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
