This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
