You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
