Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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