Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
