dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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