haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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