Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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