i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize