Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
