dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
