A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She announced her abortion via fbk
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
