It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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