Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
