She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize