Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Randomize
