My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
