my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
