Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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