I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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