he wants to bone in the snuggie
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize