i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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