Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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