I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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