his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
