have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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