I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
