its not stalking. its research.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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