Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
