They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
