After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Randomize