i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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